


shameless tosha

by theodora_cynic



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 9-1-1 on Fox, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22709023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theodora_cynic/pseuds/theodora_cynic
Summary: Buckley just hated pieces of paper. every time he came to his work, he, again and again, became convinced that work was better than in parts, he had never seen in his life.sit at the damn table, sometimes getting up and going out somewhere, sorting out the papers, reading all this and trying to understand what happened. all this was clearly not for the tank, which was used to diving into the water, even into the fire, in order to save people's lives.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	shameless tosha

**Author's Note:**

> english is not my native language, so forgive me in advance for any errors in this text. I tried to do better.

Buckley just hated pieces of paper. every time he came to his work, he, again and again, became convinced that work was better than in parts, he had never seen in his life.

sit at the damn table, sometimes getting up and going out somewhere, sorting out the papers, reading all this and trying to understand what happened. all this was clearly not for the tank, which was used to diving into the water, even into the fire, in order to save people's lives.

he was used to risking his own skin, which he didn’t really care about, but he did not expect that after a couple of months he would have to sit at the table, meeting with other people when they were absolutely safe and calm. he is used to another.

all this damn annoying him, eternal stress. his parents said that he was too sensitive, dad and mom said that this is not normal in society and the tank will quickly break. they’ll break his heart in half and throw him to hell as if it means nothing. because of this, the tank had communication problems, which eventually led him to the fact that he could not normally hold a member in his pants.

there wasn’t enough communication, that close communication when you can call at any time of the day and come to the apartment. bury their heads in the neck, cry and talk about what bothers you. but all this was not known to bak. he really rarely told anyone about how he was feeling. very rarely, because my mother taught not so.

"Your problems will not be needed by anyone in this life, learn to keep everything in yourself."

"You are your own assistant, if you can do something yourself, then do it yourself."

and he did the tank, he closed himself, said that everything was fine, smiled joyfully and tried to clear it all on his own. picked up that very imaginary shovel and went to dig it all out, trying to bring everything into relative order.

but recent events have unsettled so much that keeping everything in yourself has become harder and harder. even that “scene” with the bobby, when he said that he would quit with tears in his eyes. and when he got home he literally turned the whole apartment, which held him in four walls and did not allow him to breathe quietly.

the neighbors even wanted to call the cops, because the tank was screaming so hard and so long that his ligaments were sore then a few more days. and then this damn tsunami, which finally brought his nerves from a normal state to some kind of a mess.

\- Evan, are you done? Asked the woman who was his curator.

“Almost, I'm right now ... a couple more pieces of paper.”

\- Evan, you’re already thinking about something and just slowing down our work. one more such imprudence and unfortunately I will have to inform you about it so that you will be suspended for some time, or else they will give you another job.

and so every damn time. he slowed down when he saw how his squad was going to an urgent call. escorted from a sad look, just like a beaten puppy, who begged not to leave him here and to take with him. because in principle it was so, he approached the bobby several times, hoping that he nevertheless would give him another chance and he would return to duty again., but no, the bobby said that he was not ready yet and rejected everything his attempts to start a conversation on this topic again.

the tank wanted to return, but instead, he once again escorted the call team, pressed some useless papers closer to him and went to the right office.

***

the tank was still removed. and suspended at the moment when he needed to pay the rent for the apartment. he lacked two hundred dollars and unfortunately, he did not have more money.

Evan absolutely and definitely did not know what to do, so when he came to pick up his own from the office, he stood in a small room on the ground floor and did not even notice how they approached him.

\- tank? Asked Eddie, who was somewhat excited. - all is well? I called you, and you just fell out of this world.

\- Yes, all is well. just a problem.

Buck did not know if he and Eddie were best friends, but Evan simply could not live in peace without the Eddie and his restless looks that he noticed. all these days, as he was translated, he constantly somehow strainedly smiled at Diaz when he “asked” with his eyes how he was doing.

eddy's right hand rested on his shoulder and his thumb was comfortably placed near the carotid artery, if the tank starts to worry, then Eddie can literally feel his excitement.

a heavy look that expresses all the pain and sympathy, as if Eddie knows everything. as if he had lived all his life with Evan, felt all his emotions and knows every detail, even about which the tank itself had already forgotten.

eddy puts his other hand on the waist of the tank and pulls him to him, and when he does not feel resistance, he hugs only stronger.

“Buck, Chris misses you,” Eddie and Evan start to say something so comfortably and comfortably in these arms that he can barely distinguish words. - move to us for a while, I myself can’t cope with this little guy.

the eyes somehow hurt unpleasantly, I want to rub them, but my hands are on Eddie’s warm back, I don’t want to remove them from there. a tear rolls out of my eye but Evan somehow already doesn’t care about it, he pulls Eddie closer to himself and agrees.

***

the tank is worried about everything now. that he could not save Chris. that he let him down. that he really can no longer be a lifesaver. that he can’t even cope with paperwork. that it can provide inconvenience to the Diaz family. all this so bothered him for several weeks.

but right now, when he wakes up in the morning to the sound of a working TV and the smell of a delicious breakfast, the tank absolutely does not feel the inconvenience and stress that surrounded him all this time. Does he feel calm and ...... comfort?

Evan Buckley really didn’t feel it for a long time.

stepping into the kitchen and rubbing his face, the tank meets Eddie's gaze. Eddie’s calm and comfortable look, which does not express any discontent.

\- tank! - Chris crashes into the tanks and hugs her with all his strength, which he only has. - will you live with us?

Eddie leans over to his son, pats him on the head and asks with a smile.

\- yes, man. the tank will stay with us for a while, do you mind? - to which Chris only joyfully shakes his head, showing that he is very even for and hugs the tank even more.

the tank looks at all this and realizes that it seems to feel a little better than itself. he feels in his place.

Christopher possessively takes his hand and leads him to the kitchen, saying something about dogs that know how to stand on the back of their paws.

***

Bucky had been sitting with Christopher for a week, but in fact, he did not feel the fatigue that the nannies who watch the children usually feel. Chris was calm, this little guy knew a lot of things, it was interesting to communicate with him and interesting to play.

one day they found a monopoly, which lay and dusted somewhere in the closets. Christopher immediately got the idea of playing it, and the tank wasn’t against it. this little guy beat him several times and did not even blink an eye. so the two of them sat down until late in the evening, the tank hoping to beat Chris at least once, and Chris hoping to win a couple more times before the arrival of the pope.

When Eddie returned from work, Buckley got up from the floor, went up to the senior Diaz, hugged him and said that dinner was in the kitchen, as if he were a wife. when this thought crossed his mind, Evan blushed that he had the strength, muttered something to himself and went to collect the monopoly that they scattered on the floor.

the tank should not have gotten used to all of this, but he was used to it. he should have realized that all this clearly would not last forever.

***

a couple of days later, the tank decided to surf the Internet to find ways to earn money that would help him stay at home, watching Chris, while still having at least some amount of money in his wallet.

it took him all day to do this all day, but still find a couple of posts that he could take on, the tank threw off his statements to them and began to wait for an answer.

sooner or later he would have to get out of the Diaz house, sooner or later ... someday all this would end, so you should not sit on his neck. it was this thought that got into his head and decided to sit there for a while.

***

Eddie once again glancing at the tank, which digs itself in the work and tries to catch the deadline. all this did not suit him in any way, he noticed long ago that something was haunting this guy, but did not know what he could say for sure. I could not figure out the reasons for his behavior. did he seem to be trying to pay them for something?

Eddie definitely ticked himself off today that after dinner they’ll talk about it. and so it was.

a light touch on the arm of a tank that was about to follow Chris.

\- tank.

Buckley flinched slightly, turned to face the Diaz and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. the seemingly harmless question of what was going on led Evan to such confusion that Eddie already wanted to rewind time ago and start this dialogue somehow differently. the tank slid shook its head from side to side as if casting aside some arguments and words in its head, after which it looked at Eddie with its puppy gaze, and he began.

“I just ... you know, I don’t want to sit on your neck ...”

and then Eddie realized that all this time the tank was worried. he thought about what was a burden for them all, that he was not worthy of care.

Eddie remembered that the tank had long since told him that his family was not the best. Diaz listened to all this and although it was damn painful, he kept this information in his head, since it was a part of the tank. it was a big piece of his life, which would be disrespectfully thrown out of his head, pretending that it was not.

and now, when Evan said this to Diaz, the whole mosaic in his head has taken shape and he understood what he should do.

Eddie wanted to pull this child in the body of a large child to him and hug him so that he realized that he deserves more than all this.

“Wait,” interrupted Eddy's possible monologue. - and now you will listen to me. got it The Diaz asked, taking the chin of the tank with his hand. then only when the guy nodded, then Eddie continued. “You are not a burden and you have never been to her.” you bring damn good to this world, even if you don’t think so, then everyone else sees it. I don’t know what your parents told you, but they were clearly not right about you. you did not become the person who makes you regret your years, you grew up as a man who is ready to put his back under the knife to protect your loved ones. you rush into the fire, saving other people's lives, which you then most likely will never see again and you do not demand anything in return for this. we are all people, we are all exhausted, and you are exhausted. you don’t have to think about constantly doing something, tank. you need a rest, really. because if you don’t understand it now, then you will burn out after some time and everything will become even worse.

the warm hugs that the tank deserved. the good words he deserved. those same gentle touches that he was worthy. it was all now.

the tears that rolled down his cheeks were nasty, but that’s nothing compared to what the tank went through. now he felt at home. he felt at his damn place and was completely sure that he was needed, he was important, he was worthy.

\- I love you, tank. Chris loves you a hell of a lot. you are not a burden to everyone, you are our family.

a deep sigh, a soft kiss, a pleasant hug and a joyful laugh of Chris, rapidly crawling between the guys who were hugging him now.

**Author's Note:**

> don’t ask me anything about the name, you still don’t know anything;).


End file.
